I quit my job last November to be home with my son, finish my Bachelor's degree, and get my Master's. I do have to go back to work in a few years, so I've started thinking about what I want to accomplish in the time I have before that happens. What can I do to make the biggest impact on my son and on my family? It was a big decision to leave a good job, take on more debt (hello there, student loans!), and have less money. It's important to me that this time is not frittered away liking things on Facebook and shopping on Amazon. Or at least not the entire time, anyway.
With this thought in mind, I started thinking specifically about home schooling. My own school - that comes easy to me. It's all done online, on my own schedule. It is work, but I can do it when it doesn't interfere much with my home life. Since being home with my son is my primary focus, I wanted to pin down how I wanted home schooling to look for our family, and then work towards that goal.
It is important to us as parents that our son becomes a well-balanced, happy, functional adult - that he's joyful, he's a good person, he can support himself, solve his own problems, and be a good husband and father (if he so desires). That's it. That's the end goal. Looks good on paper, right?
But what do you do to get a kid to that point? We've only got the one. If we screw this one up, no second chances. All of our eggs are in one basket, so to speak.
Years ago, I came to the same conclusion that many home schoolers have - you treat your child with respect, you love them and make sure they are safe, and that they feel all that love and safety. You educate them in whatever manner you've chosen (believe me, there are millions of different ways to home school, and, as any good product label will tell you, results may vary!). But the key ingredient of home schooling (or parenting, period), is that you lead by example. And by that I don't just mean eating healthfully, exercising, and trying not to curse. These are important, of course - I'm also failing pretty miserably in each of those areas!
So, what do I mean, exactly? What does it mean to me to be leading by example, through the lens of home schooling? For our family, this means that you try new things. You explore your world, You follow your interests. You spend time together (really together, paying attention to each other). You talk about everything under the sun. You support each other's passions (even when you don't share them). You embrace the facts that you're more interested in Dr. Who than ballet, that poop jokes make you laugh, and that even though they're really, really bad for you, chicken McNuggets taste really good.
So how do I make the best use of the two or three years I have before returning to the workforce, how do I do my best to lead by example? How do I home school my son in the most effective way I'm capable of? Well, I spend the next few years home schooling myself.
I'll take cello lessons, glass blowing classes, a multi-week road trip, and walks. I'll drive to another state to see Jason Mraz with some of our very favorite people, and go sledding in White Sands, NM. I'll listen to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, and try to figure out how I'll get to Chicago to see it live. I'll listen to music I love and talk about why I love it. I'll write more and blog more and take more pictures. I'll start training my dogs so I can take them to the children's hospital or local disasters to be therapy dogs. I'll read books, introduce my son to Douglas Adams, and spend days lying around watching Dr. Who marathons. I'll show him that it's ok to be 39 and 11/12ths when you get your first Bachelor's degree, and that if you want to finish your Master's at 42 or 43, that's okay, too. I'll show him that even though you love McNuggets, they're bad for your body and you should really try and avoid eating them. I'll show him that if you really want to run a 5k, you can - even if you start out extremely out of shape, with a lot of weight to lose.
I'll show him that it's never too late to try the things you want to try and be the person you want to be. I'll let him know that it's okay to not love your life or your job, but that you have the power to change those things and create the world you want for yourself and your family. I'll show him that even though there are days I want to rage at his father, I still love him, and none of this would be possible without him. I'll show him that when you make a commitment to someone and start a family with them you stick it out through the good and the bad. I'll show him how important it is to make that commitment to the right person, how great it is when you've found that person, and that when things aren't the way you want them to be with your partner, you work hard to try to fix them and make them better.
I'll spend the next few years home schooling myself. My son and husband will try many of these things with me. Some I'll be doing on my own. Some things will take, some won't. It isn't so much that I want to succeed at or do everything on my list (although that would be great), but, rather, the process of working through it - discarding what doesn't work, and adding in new stuff as we go. Along the way, we'll read a little together each day, throw in some spelling and writing, and keep up with the Life of Fred math lessons - those things are important to us.
But if we miss a few days because Daddy got some time off work and we're spending it at the lake, well, that's okay, too.
